Ever since I got back from living in India, I have had a “thing” with dogs. Without getting into every terrifying detail, let’s just say, I thought I was going to die from a wild pack of dogs while walking in India at sunrise one morning. Now I know… you don’t do that. Apparently, dusk/dawn is their time, and you can have the daylight hours. And carry a stick. It sounds like total bullshit to me, but that was what I was told after my “incident.” The frustrating thing about having this kind of thing happen is the fear that rushes up at the site of unleashed dogs which can instinctively attract more unfriendly incidents.
This has resulted in what I guess would be labeled PTSD and has had me in tears while walking a trail when an unleashed dog comes running toward me. Even the friendly, “no one would ever be scared of this breed” of dogs have incited full-on panic attacks mid-walk. And when I see unleashed dogs, inevitably, someone says, “they’re friendly.” Well, my friend, if this is you, please know that even friendly dogs sense this level of terror and can act abnormally aggressive. I have witnessed this more times than I fancy.
I have been doing a LOT of personal work on this ever since …uh… because dogs are EVERYWHERE, and I also found out my “shadow animal” is canine, HA! Go figure! I just love spiritual irony. If you’re not familiar, a shadow animal is like your totem, or spirit animal, except it represents our shadow side. This type of deep personal exploration work is often avoided (like the plague, lol) because, well, it brings up stuff you probably need to work on. And it isn’t very fun. Highly rewarding, yes, but fun, not so much.
I’ve done meditations, healing treatments, hypnosis, visualizations, and have switched from carrying weaponry, to now bringing a bag of dog treats. I figure if humans respond better to love than fear, so should dogs, right? Thankfully I haven’t had to use my experimental “dog-fear therapy” yet, but I do feed them to particularly hungry-looking ones hanging out in the market. And you know what? My repeated effort to call in love -instead of fear- is actually working! I have made friends with a few local dogs here in town, and they come up to me wagging their tails. I am not “cured” completely, but I am well on my way. (And I still appreciate it when doggie parents walk their pups on a leash… not just for me, but for everyone’s sake. )
The beauty in this journey to freedom from the fear of dogs is that I see the greater gift in this whole experience. For it is my shadow, demonstrating all the places where the light needs to shine. And I am willing and able to do the work to be free. I’ve never been one to run and hide. I am right here, staring it in the face, armed with my walking stick AND a bag of dog treats, ready to go for my walk today. xoxCollin
